I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
