Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
