we're blogging at a bar
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
