i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
