i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
