and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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