just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
