he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
