I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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