at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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