Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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