I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize