He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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