Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
