i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
