end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
