You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
