Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
