i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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