yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The struggles of a small town man whore
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You are a genius and a whore.
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