I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
