I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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