OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
