does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
