you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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