why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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