i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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