our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I would ride that face into the sunset
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
