I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
