i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
