i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
