Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I could fuck to npr.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
