Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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