For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
