he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
