lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
