ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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