I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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