Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize