office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we're so committed to being not committed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
