You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize