Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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