We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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