I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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