Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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