yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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