I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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