Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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