I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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