So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
