belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
People in love make me want to vomit
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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