when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
