dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
