May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize