i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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