her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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