Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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