How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
