Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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