I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
